I killed again...this time twice in less than 12 hours

Silver 3 (October 23, 2008-January 12th, 2009) passed away yesterday. He is survived by his loving owner Hunter and his apparent serial fish killer Mother.


I feel awful! Out of all of the Silver's, #3 was honestly my favorite. Whenever you came by the tank it would swim over to you. It was so cute. He wasn't dumb like a goldfish. This little shark had personality and spunk.


I did my usual thing yesterday - scooped him out, flushed him and ran to PetSmart to get Silver 4. Got him, drove home, dropped him in the tank. Fabulous! My son was none the wiser when he came home to the switched fish.

We had such a fun time cleaning out the tank last night, rinsed off the cool stones on the bottom, fresh water, rearranging the plastic foliage and fish tank decor - I bought Silver a skull he could swim in and out of. Totally cool! Hunter went to bed happy at 930....fish was dead by 10.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Now what do I do?????? I can't believe I have had Silver 4 for 9 hours and the thing is dead already! What do I do with it? Do I finally let Silver pass and end this charade and parade of fish?? Hunter will be beside himself with grief!

No. I can't do that. I must protect my son's sweet heart and spare him the pain of a dead pet...so I try (with chopsticks) to prop Silver up and in one of the plastic plants hoping he would look casual and like he was just hanging out in there. Nope...fish still look dead even when posed.

At this point, I decided that the skull is my new best friend. I scoop out Silver 4 and put him in a sandwich bag and hide him behind the eggs in the refridgerator - I'm taking this lemon fish BACK! I figure that if Hunter notices tomorrow morning that Silver is missing, I will say "oh he must be hiding in his new skull!".

I let him eat breakfast in front of the TV today to distract him from his dear departed pet. It works and he doesn't even go near the tank! Woo hooo!! I will be off to continue my grief-sparing spree in no time!

Off to PetSmart this morning to get a new little Shark and christen him Silver 5...I took Silver 4 (God Rest His Fishy Soul) with me and scooped out a cup full of water to see if it's my water at fault for killing all these fish. Yep, turns out my water is close to sludge -even with the Tap Conditioner I put in it! Needless to say, that is making me want to buy bottled water for the rest of my life. Fish die in it?? I'm not drinking that!!!!

After getting my $$ back and saying a little prayer, I put Silver 4 into the garbage at PetSmart. The Fish Lady told me I would have to totally redo my whole tank AGAIN with purified water before I put a fish back in it AND that my tank (10 gallon) is too small for the shark. Apparently, that is why the fish keep kicking the barnacles. I'm thinking HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO PULL THIS OFF? I have to buy 10 gallons of purified water, clean the tank again, then drive all the way back to PetSmart to get Silver 5. There is no way I can do all this before going on the air.

When I realized I was tapping the toe of my Manolo in the fish aisle listening to myself think of the tangled webs of deception I was weaving, I decided to pick Silver 4 back out of the trash and take him home to let Hunter pay his respects. He is currently in a travel coffee mug in my freezer - if you ever come over, try to remember not to drink out of that one...I mean he is in a plastic bag in the coffee mug, but still.

I just called my Fabu Sitter Courtney who said H was looking for Silver and putting food in the tank trying to coax him out of the skull...kind of reminded me of the blind kid petting the dead canary in Dumb and Dumber saying "Pretty bird...pretty bird" while petting a canary with duct tape around it's neck to keep it's head on.

I have totally pulled one over on him and I feel awful. I have to tell him the truth tonight - that Silver has died....the ORIGINAL Silver...he will never know that his dear Mother was trying to spare his feelings and replaced him 5 times.

Happy New Year and back to the routine!

Since we last spoke, I took a trip to Wisconsin! It was 30 below one day and then 50 a few days later....odd that Wisconsin weather is. That is me above enjoying the snow.....

Christmas was lots of fun! Lots of presents and of course food including the wonderful Cheese Curds. If you're from WI, you know how great they are. If you're not from WI, they sound gross.

My nephew Sawyer got a mohawk! You have to see it! He colors it all different colors too! I saw it in purple, red (as pictured below) and blue.

Of course his brother Carter wanted one too.... how cuuuuuuuuuuute!! I mean cool!!

Hunter and his buddy Zac got into the act too...here is a pic from New Years Eve:

Yep, we're into hair products in my family. This was my hair don't on NYE.....loves it....

Until next time, please keep this image of me in your head.